Forgiveness
by Relativity1953
Summary: A little look at Bela's motivations and character -spoilers for 3.03, 3.06, 3.07, and 3.10-


This little one-shot has been floating around in my head for quite some time (in the abstract), and more specifically since 3.10 "Dream a Little Dream". I have had a lot of trouble writing it because I kept going off on tangents and couldn't make my way back to the original plotline. Then, I heard that Bela was in the most recent episode (that I have not yet seen) and wasn't sure if I should keep trying to write the darn thing.

**warning**: spoilers for episodes 3.03 (Bad Day at Black Rock), 3.06 (Red Sky at Morning), 3.07 (Fresh Blood), and 3.10 (Dream a Little Dream)

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**Forgiveness**

The day had started out like so many others – a nice, long shower with expensive soaps and shampoos that smelled of cassia and clove, reading a bit of news while sipping some Earl Grey with a dash of cream and sugar, opening up a tin of Savory Salmon Fancy Feast for Soldi, then getting dressed for the day in a fun, yet comfortable tea-length black dress purchased in Milan or Paris, maybe New York. It was the little things, Gran used to tell her, that made life worth living.

Damn. She hadn't thought of Gran in years but now every memory of Estella Talbot - the woman who taught her everything about communicating with the departed, who loved and cared for her, who then shunned her from the family – every heartbreaking memory was in the forefront of her mind once again.

Damn Winchesters.

Oh yes, she could bloody well blame them for all of her troubles. She was quite sure that they were the root of all the world's problems, or more specifically hers. If she thought on it long enough, she knew she could find a way to blame them for the lousy mug of coffee she was served at the shop yesterday and even the rainy day she suffered through last week.

Nothing but trouble.

It hadn't always been that way. No, she remembered hearing stories of the great John Winchester – father, widower, hunter-extraordinaire. Even those on the periphery of the hunting world had heard the amazing tales of John Winchester. If she was honest, she would admit that she was a bit star-struck when it came to John – if she was honest, which she is decidedly not.

In fact, she nearly tripped over herself when she first saw _the_ man, though she was able to regain herself and recover quite well _thank you_. He was rather handsome, in an almost too-rugged way. Not exactly her type, but there was never any harm in looking – no harm at all. Except when there was.

She was foolish and allowed herself to be outsmarted. Somehow Winchester had gotten to that rabbit's foot before her and she was left to wipe the drool from her lips and explain to her very angry client why she could not deliver the item that she had assured him would be his before the week was out. After that, she made sure to stay away from the Winchesters.

Of course, when she heard through the grapevine that John Winchester was no longer among the living, she figured that the rabbit's foot was fair game once again. It took over a year to figure out what John had done with it – where he hid it, how he hid it. It took two days to find two idiots stupid enough to go after it for her. It took only a few hours for John's sons to figure out where the aforementioned idiots were and got the bloody thing away from them.

The boys left an easy enough trail to follow, if you knew what to look for. Obviously one had touched the rabbit's foot – it made finding them and retrieving it so much simpler. Had she not learned from her mistake the year before with John, she may have had some trouble stealing the charm from the younger one – _Sam_ – but she made sure to get all of her ogling out of the way before approaching.

A good thing, too – that was, after all, the reason the boys had been able to get through their meal before she attempted to approach them.

But that older one – _Dean_ – was not quite the imbecile she had thought (and so many hunters had painted him to be). Not only did he bypass her state of the art security system and steal the rabbit's foot back, but he also thwarted her efforts of snatching it back from them. Still, at least she got to shoot one of them. But, she decided that the Winchesters were not good for her business and she was planning to stay away.

Who knew they would end up in Massachusetts, trying to discover what was behind a rash of on-land drownings? Just her luck really – if it hadn't been for some rough spots in her past, she would have sworn that that rabbit's foot had managed to curse her before it was destroyed.

Her research had gotten off to a rocky start with the Winchesters interfering right and left, but she figured it was all worth it to see Sam _in a tux_ and being pawed at by Gert (his dimples were quite adorable when he was slightly panicked), and Dean _in a tux_... the offer of sex was quite sincere... And, of course, she managed to get the Hand of Glory (from Dean's pocket, no less). The adventure was quite successful – until she saw the damned ship.

She knew it wasn't simply self-preservation that landed her at the Winchesters' door, though she honestly couldn't figure out why she thought they may help her. And, the research the boys put together about the sailor's motives for killing people – well, had she known about that little detail she definitely wouldn't have gone.

They didn't need to know about her past. They didn't need to know that the one person she cared about most in the world, Gran – Estella Talbot, ostracized her from her family after discovering that she was using her _gift_ to make money rather than to help give peace of mind to friends and neighbors who hoped to hear that their loved ones had gone to a better place. They didn't need to know that the only contact she had with her family for more than a decade was with Estella's brother-in-law Bernard, who gratefully accepted the money she gave him to pay for Gran's treatments and therapies.

And they certainly didn't need to know that, when nothing helped and Gran was only suffering more and more from her ALS, that she was the one who stepped in to do what none of her other family members had the courage to do – she helped Estella end the pain.

Damned dead sailor – apparently the fact that Gran had forgiven her and accepted her (thanked her, even) had no bearing on his need to avenge his own death.

Those boys had the good cop – bad cop routine down, what with Dean interrogating her about her past and Sam offering a solution when she refused to answer Dean's questions. It was all a terrifying blur but they somehow saved her life. But, hating to feel indebted to anyone, she gave them some money before leaving... hopefully for the last time.

But hunters had a way of finding things out that even she, with all her spirit connections, never could. Of course, that's not to say that she would give out information without something valuable in return. That maniac, Gordon Walker, may have thought he was frightening but a threat and a gun was not going to get him very far with her.

How Dean found out that she spoke with Walker is still beyond her. And _his_ threats to kill her actually hit a nerve. Imagine her surprise when she consulted her spirit board to give the boys Walker's location and found out more than she had bargained for. Bargain being the operative word – as in Dean's bargain, his deal with a demon, one year in return for Sam's life. That had been completely unexpected.

She had never felt that her debt to the boys was completely resolved, money or not. She began asking every spirit she could find for information about the Winchesters. It was only a fluke that she found out about the Colt. A gun that could kill any supernatural creature would surely earn a very high price, but that wasn't what she had planned. But how to get back to the boys without them – Dean – wanting to kill her?

When Dean called her, she was completely unprepared. She couldn't believe her luck, until he asked if she had any Ubulawu. Well, it was an opportunity and she would certainly be able to find the dream root.

Her only regret was that she was kicked out of the room before the boys drank their tea – in fact, there was a part of her that was really hoping to hop into their dreams. But, she still got what she came for. The boys believed her story about Bobby – saving her life was a bit of an embellishment. They trusted her as much as could be expected, and she was long gone before they discovered the Colt was missing.

Yes, the day had started out like so many others, but it was anything but. Today was another day that Bela had to hide from the Winchesters. She hated hiding but it was a necessary evil. And, she knew the boys would hate her, even more than they already did. But she knew it was the right thing to do.

Bela may not have been a hunter but she had dealt with her fair share of demons. She knew exactly what was in store for Dean when he went to hell. She also knew enough about him to know that he would never want to become like the things he hunted. She also knew Sam enough to know that he would never have it in him to end his brother's torment, evil or not.

Of course she knew that the boys would hate her, but in the end she knew she was doing what was best. It would have been a lot easier on all of them if she could have explained her plan, but that would have defeated the purpose. If she was going to summon a demonized Dean from hell and shoot him with the Colt, she couldn't let him know about it.

Bela knew Dean would not want to become evil, a possible danger to his little brother – the one he made the deal for in the first place. She just hoped that in the end, all her debts to the Winchesters would be repaid – hoped they would understand the way Gran did. She didn't expect them to thank her, but desperately hoped they would forgive her.

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**AN:** I am not a huge Bela fan - I don't love her, but don't hate her. I chose her for this fic because she seemed perfect for it.

I took a little liberty in naming Bela's cat. As far as I know, it has not been given a name in canon, so I made one up. "Soldi" is Italian for 'money' (at least according to BabelFish).

A little background on ALS (for those who are not familiar and would like to know):

**Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) **is a progressive, usually fatal, neurodegenerative disease caused by the degeneration of motor neurons, the nerve cells in the central nervous system that control voluntary muscle movement. The cause is unknown and no cure has yet been found. Physicians can prescribe medications to help reduce fatigue, ease muscle cramps, control spasticity, and reduce excess saliva and phlegm. Other treatments for ALS are designed to relieve symptoms and improve the quality of life for patients.

Most people with ALS die from respiratory failure, usually within 3 to 5 years from the onset of symptoms. However, about 10 percent of those individuals with ALS survive for 10 or more years.

Notable people living with ALS include: British theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking.  
Notable people who have died of ALS include: American baseball star Lou Gehrig (the namesake of the colloquial reference to the disease Lou Gehrig's Disease in the United States).


End file.
